Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Looking for the silver lining comes naturally for me. I find it easily. But, I've slowed down and am instead of finding the silver lining, I'm finding faith. Or, trust. Or, surrender to something larger than me. A call to put what I have learned into action.
I have been saying that it is a gift that I am sick. I know this is as much of a spiritual healing as it a physical ailment. This silver lining was easy to find.
A little less than a year ago I started a blog on LiveJournal because I had a desire to write. Within a month, I had 50-some followers and online relationships. People come, people go, but I realized that the intersection of who showed up was not by accident. Now, I'm over here wanting to write and wondering how the relationships keep me from writing what I really feel.
It is what it is.
Have you ever known someone in this lifetime and immediately seen several lifetimes with the person? This happened to me with a teacher/mentor, a man who is one of the great minds of the 21st century, a genius. After a couple of years of intensity, I walked away from the relationship. This relationship became extremely intimate, yet it had nothing to do with sex. After a year and a half, we are working together again. There is now mutual respect. I am his teacher as well as he is mine. There is something great that we are going to put out in the world, that we are creating.
This illness is a spiritual cleanse to prepare for what is to come. It is a gift.
I've known for awhile that he was Henry VIII and I was Anne Boleyn. After trying to deny it, I've had it confirmed more than once. I've also know we were king and queen in 3 different lifetimes. I've known about our lifetime together in Atlantis. We are not always husband and wife, but sometimes brother/sister, colleagues, mother/father/child. While I've been ill several lifetimes have come clear. Richard II/Anne of Bohemia; Socrates/Xenophon; "vampires!" in Budapest -- exchanging spiritual and physical dna. Each revelation comes with a lesson. Each one comes with a clearing of my karma. My throat was the first place that this illness showed up and it is cleansing, truly cleansing.
I'm getting ready for my life's work.....cleansing karma. The revealing of the lifetimes has a lesson in it about circadian rhythms over the lifetimes that is not yet clear. I trust it will come.
In the meantime, the physical world is falling apart in my little world as well as around the larger world. Letting go, letting go, and making room for the new. The Universe is knocking us over the head wth a cosmic 2 x 4.
This post is going private soon, but feels not right to do it yet.
We are the dancers of our physical lifetimes, not the choreographers. Dance.